Notes from a Superhero's Psychiatrist

Session One - Had first meeting with M. today. He seems, on the whole, a well-adjusted young man. Unsure why he seeks therapy. Today's session was mostly introductory.

Session Two - M. has had some rough luck, as he fell into a vat of chemicals while at work this week. The chemicals were mostly an untested mix of this thing and that, left uncovered and with a catwalk above it. My suggestions that he discuss this with OSHA fell largely on deaf ears.

Session Three - I feel that M. is having a difficult time dealing with traumatic experiences. Though it is perfectly understandable that his incident at work would remind him of his own mortality (and as such, the murder of his father when he was younger), he has become perhaps unhealthily fixated on the growing crime rate of the city in which he lives. It also would appear that his former co-worker, Dr. X, has been exhibiting self-destructive behavior and also signs of projection as he blames the company (he was fired earlier this year for testing new formulae on himself) for his being ostracized from most social circles. I suggested to M. that perhaps Dr. X. would do well to seek therapy himself - though I am not accepting new patients at this time, I would certainly be able to refer him.

Session Four - M. has externalized his abandonment issues, and his social conscience, in a way that I did not see coming. It appears that the accident at work left him with the ability to shoot beams out of his hands and fly and repel bullets. His first reaction to this, I am led to believe, was a compulsion to put on pantyhose and a cape, and beat up muggers. Perhaps his violent outbursts are his way of rebelling against societal conditioning re: his repressed transvestitism? I am unsure how to broach the subject during our meetings.

Session Five - It would seem that Dr. X. has obtained abilities similar to those of M. and is terrorizing the populace. The two men have come to blows several times, yet there has been no closure. My current speculation is that both men are attempting (in counterproductive ways) to cope with repressed homosexual urges. I am told that Dr. X. was also possessed by the urge to put on women's hosiery. This seems pretty cut-and-dried to me. These two grown males dress up in women's underthings and crawl all over each other in public. What is so complicated about this?

Session Six: M. is now dealing with the accidental death of his girlfriend. His attempts to cope have been surprisingly focused and effective; he is progressing through the accepted stages of loss normally. Perhaps there is hope.

Session Seven: As it turned out, his girlfriend was never really dead - the being that he believed to be his girlfriend was in fact an alien clone constructed by the alien overlord Z. to gain his trust. This has upset the coping process greatly, though he was, and is, relieved.

Session Eight: M. is deeply troubled that he must fight a parallel universe clone of himself to save the world. I suggested talking his differences out with the clone. I am pretty sure he didn't listen.

Session Nine: M. and I have agreed to part company. I do not feel that he is willing to make any real progress, and I cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. The old joke about shrinks and light bulbs applies here, I feel, more than ever. This is probably all for the best; the outline of his penis, plainly visible, was growing more unsettling by the week.